Category: Teh Dumb

eBay never ceases to provide entertainment. I see some idiot is offering MGB fiberglass rocker covers for sale. In case you’re unfamiliar with how the MGB is built, the sills (of which the rocker covers are the external part, visible under the doors) are the backbone of the car. They’re not cosmetic pieces, they’re important structural components. That’s why you replace them with new steel when you restore a car if they’re damaged (and that’s why you should be concerned if yours are Swiss cheese). And that’s especially why you don’t do something mindbogglingly stupid like paste fiberglass covers on.

The poor MGB. I thought with their rise in classic status we were beyond crappy, cheap fixes.

“The Dreamer” writes a certain type of classified ad, and they’re always amusing. This person believes beyond all sense that their car is worth a fortune. That, combined with some ‘tude about not wasting his time, makes it even more worthy (an aside: you’re placing an ad for an old car, of course someone’s going to waste your time before you sell it). When there’s no price, we’re approaching grand-master ad-writing territory–and if it’s in all caps? There is nothing left for them to learn, they have mastered the art form. For example:

1977 FIAT SPIDER CONVERTABLE. I HAVE A AWESOME RESTORATION PROJECT 77,000 ORIGINAL MILES. 2.0 L DOHC 5 SPEED BODY,INTERIOR,TOP,EVEN ORIGINAL RUNNING GEAR IN SURPRISING CONDITION. IT RUNS, DRIVES, AND STOPS VERY GOOD. WILL NEED NORMAL RESTORATION RITUALS TO BE SHOW- ROOM CONDITION . OR PUT A TIMING BELT ON IT AND CRUISE TOPLESS FOR THE SUMMER. IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS CAR IS WORTH DONT BOTHER CALLING, IF YOU DO HAVE SOME MONEY TO INVEST AND ARE SERIOUS. CALL M—- @ xxx-xxx-xxxx AND LEAVE A MASSAGE.

I’m not a trained masseuse, so I don’t dare call (even if I had any desire to own a Fiat, Italy’s entry into the “Which Car Can Rust Fastest” competition). But that’s a $1,000 car, at the most, and I bet he wants way more than that.

Rat Rod
I’m sure at some point in the history of the hot rod, it was a radical concept to eschew the fine craftsmanship that went into the best rods and purposefully make something kinda raw and unkempt. The “rat rod” was born. (Being a rat-rodder probably made you a bad-ass, and allowed you to sport the du jour “bad guy” facial hair arrangement.)

But today? Try a search on eBay for “rat rod” and you’ll come up with almost as many results as listings for actual hot rods–that’s not exactly being an outsider.
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